The Day Before the Last Day of 2005

So here I sit...still feeling bad because of yesterday. It's a very personal reason, but the bottom line is I hurt someone I love and I hope that even if she can't forgive me, that she KNOWS I feel incredibly sick over the whole incident. This little girl in the photo looks like she feels somewhat sad over something...I feel that way about what I did.

Moving on...I am back to work today. Thank God. My children were starting to drive me crazy. I've spent the last 2 days trying to get my house cleaned up and it's just futile at this point. The Girls want to play with EVERYTHING they got for Christmas AT THE SAME TIME. OK, THAT, I don't have a problem with. My problem? THEY WON'T KEEP IN CONTAINED IN ONE ROOM--it's strode ALL OVER my house! ARG! That makes it incredibly difficult to keep the house in presentable order. Not to mention that things are in more of a general disarray because I am trying to weed through some things in anticipation of moving in 2006 (more on that later!). *SIGH* This all reminds me of something I read in one of those e-mails I've received that has all the funny quotes in it: Trying to clean house while you still have children living @ home is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree! Aye, aye, aye....

So anyhow, I am kinda happy to be here @ work. It's just me, it's quiet and I can think. I am getting to the point that I almost have PANIC ATTACKS when I am @ home. Everything is so disorganized and scattered that it overwhelms me. Now don't get me wrong..I don't live in a PIG STY not fit for human occupancy...it might be a mess, but it's a CLEAN mess...just papers and the kids' stuff all over. Plus the way we had to arrange the furniture to fit that huge gorgeous Christmas tree in the house cut back on some of our space. That bad boy's comin' down tomorrow. It's pretty but it's time to get rid of it. I am going to bring it out here to the college where I work and then take it and dump it at the back of campus, but not before I throw some old stale popcorn on it...and perhaps some old seeds if I can find some. The wild life around here will thank me for it, I'm sure.

Other than that, not much else going on. Just wanted to post and letcha all know who care that I am still alive and trudging through this last little bit of the holiday season. Hope that you're almost there too! :o)

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.