Sunday And Coming Down

So it’s been a crazy fuckin’ weekend…wait – it’s been an INTERESTING weekend.

Yeah. That fits better.


I’ve had things on my mind that I haven’t thought about in ages. Being alone while Ralph is at work gives me time to let my thoughts wander.

So, I’m a little over the excitement of the new car. Well, not really – I’ve only gotten to drive it ONCE since the ink dried on the finance papers. Ralph is hoggin’ the steering wheel time like it’s cool. I LOVE to drive and to not be able to is like having a pipe FULL of crack and no lighter, matches or fire ANYWHERE. I am looking forward to tooling around town in Miss Scarlet. I definitely DID NOT “fit” in the Focus. It wasn’t “ME”. It was a car you’d see an 18 yr old Princess driving around in. Not me, the Regular Royalty I’ve become.

On a sad note, I have a dear, dear friend who has been having some health issues this week. Everything she’s gone throug mirrors everything I went through from late 2002 through mid-2004. All of that seems so far away now. I look at my life, my family, myself and it seems as if I were NEVER knocking on death’s door only 4 short years ago. I wish so much that I could just hop on a plane and go be with her. I remember how devastating it was to receive the blow – and no one around me knew how to act. They all acted like they were walking on eggshells and that maybe I wasn’t supposed to know I had "The Big C". I would know how to make her feel better. I would know what to do. And years from now, it would be something she could use for strength when she needed it. Miss Who – you’re in my thoughts, prayers and wishes, Hon. I love you. Hang in there.

I finished this book.

Big whoop. I was DEEPLY disappointed. I don’t see how a 30-something author can capture what an 8 year old is thinking or feeling. I can VAGUELY remember being 8 and frankly, it sucked. That time for a little girl, leaving “girlhood” behind and stepping onto on the brink of the “tween years”…no siblings, parents that worked all the time…the only GOOD thing I remember about it was being with my Grammie and Papa all the time. I loved them more than you could ever imagine a child could love their Grandparents. And I was their only one for 9 years until that little troll of a cousin of mine came along in 1981. And just let me say for the record – that boy’s 27 years old now and he STILL “AIN’T RIGHT.” So, the book kind of droned on and I found myself skipping through a few sections. I wouldn’t recommend it. But what do I know??
Some of you might like it – it just wasn’t for me.

My Netflix is in shipping – nothing to watch this weekend. The last movie I got was the 35th anniversary re-release of A Clockwork Orange.

(I LOVE this photo - so sexy in a creepy kind of way...)

I had never seen THE WHOLE movie before, so I sat myself down and watched it. Damn, Malcolm McDowell was HOT when he was younger. He definitely doesn’t look like that nowadays. I can see where I might have enjoyed it a little more if I were in an “enhanced state”. But I wasn’t, so it was just “OK”. Funny to look back and see how others perceived the “future” (read: the 80s & 90s) to be in the late 60s and early 70s. But I still think Stanley Kubrick was a BRILLIANT director. Some of his other movies were THE SHIZNIT. I am not sure what I’ve got coming next? I picked out a BUNCH of old school shit to watch again. Movies I haven’t seen in a LONG time – I’m talking OVER 25 years. And just what was a 10 yr old doing watching The Shining, you might ask? My Mom was always a King fan and LOVED morbid & scary shit like that. Sometimes I think it’s because they did things like take me to see Amityville Horror when I was 6 that I am the way I am today. But they always told me, “It’s ONLY make believe. It’s NOT real.” It’s been so long since I was a child, I can’t remember if that made a difference or not?

Since we bought the car yesterday, we’ve discussed our finances, and we’re going to have to sacrifice a trip somewhere for the weekend of our 11th wedding anniversary next month. The car is our anniversary gift to each other – and probably part of Ralph’s birthday gift, too!! It sucks to be so broke all the time, but when you’re trying to play catch up from being unemployed for 6 months a year ago and you’ve got kids and gas is over $4.00 a gallon – it’s hard. But I can make it. If anything I’m a survivor and I relish the challenge. “The Queen” will just have to forego her Starbuck’s, cell phone, lunches out, the GOOD vodka and Avon products for a while. It MUST be done! It’s not forever – and if it means a better, SAFER car, then I’m all for it. BRING IT ON!

I am the MacGyver of the cul de sac!

[…well I would be *IF* I lived in a cul de sac…..]