In It To Win It

So I got a “freebie” today: I got the day off from work because the only Dr. that sees patients on Friday is taking tomorrow off. There were no charts for me to process today and since my boss and I have a “HATE/HATE” affair going on right now, I just assumed that she didn’t want to look at me today much less pay me to do “busy work”.

Why are my boss and I banging heads right now? Hmmm…I think that most of YOU would be a little upset if you found YOUR JOB listed on Craig’s List. I am not shittin – CLICK HERE to see what I am talking about.

Ain’t that a bitch?

When I confronted her, she stated that it was there simply for her to collect applications IN CASE I have to have a procedure on my back that causes me to be off work from 3-8 weeks like normal back procedures do - and she would need to cover my position without pulling people out of their positions and causing everyone to get behind on their work. I don’t know if I believe her? My consultation for my condition with my back is October 2nd in Phoenix. I think she’s trying to use this as an opportunity to usher me out.

I don’t get it? What is the problem? Am I the problem? Or is that everyone’s just an asshole that I can’t get along with? I mean I don’t bother her unless I absolutely HAVE to. We don’t talk unless it’s warranted. I don’t gossip or cause strife in the office. I walk the straight & narrow as far as my job’s concerned and I LOVE my job. It’s not everyday you hear someone say that. And as far as my luck goes, I just figure that it’s BECAUSE I love my job that The Fates are working against me to make sure that I don’t get to keep said job.

I love my co-workers. I love most of the patients. I even have a few patients who call ONLY ME to schedule appointments and leave messages for the nurses and doctors because they know I don’t blow them off like so many other people who work in the front office do. I enjoy going to work. The one thing I don’t enjoy or like in any manner is the Administration of that business. Those are some of the gloomiest, negative people I’ve ever met. I swear if you get too close to one of them, it will suck the life right out of your soul.

So, anyhow, I get today off. I had already decided yesterday that I wasn’t going to do much today. I am still recovering form the PYELONEPHRITIS from 9/11-9/17. I just wanted a day to relax and call my own. In order to carry out my plans for today, I read a book.

If you haven’t read this book – read it. I don’t care if you’re an animal lover or not. It really gives you some perspective on life and what’s important and what’s not. I laughed (since I am now the owner of a rambunctious, full-of-life Labrador Retriever myself!), I cried a WHOLE lot because I, too, have a 13 year old dog that is in his golden years and won’t be with me much longer. I enjoyed this book thoroughly and recommend it to EVERYONE.

After reading this book and tearin’ UP a box of Kleenex, I stopped to think about why this whole thing with my job is bothering me so much. I think it’s because I have chosen to work in the Medical Field for a reason. I want to help people and help the ones who are sick and frail and need support to have a better quality of life. And while I haven’t completed school (that will put me into an effective clinical position) yet, THIS is the only way that I can make a difference right now and earn a living to go with it.

So many people that I come into contact with on a daily basis feel like no one understands their problems or their illnesses or how hard it is to deal with an autistic child…I do. I am ONE of “those people”. I have a whole laundry list of health problems and I am fortunate enough at this time to have wonderful doctors and nurses who, like me, give a shit about their patients. I think that is why I can connect with these people and why I can assist them in the capacity that I am able to, and I don’t want that miserable and pitiful excuse for an administration team to take that away from me.

And I KNOW that all I can do is hope and pray that this is the path that’s meant to be. That The Fates have a plan for me, whether it is stay where I am or move onto to something bigger and better. But I also realize that I CANNOT go through 6 months of unemployment again…that just about broke me last year. My spirit cannot sustain itself in such a situation. The ONLY thing remotely good that came out of my unemployment in 2007 was that I started school and got through 75% of it in order to go to work doing what it is that I want to do in this life as a job and also to make a difference in people’s lives.

So I must wait it out. Keep on keepin’ on, as “J” would say. Walk the line and keep my nose clean so that they have NO REASON to fire me. I don’t know how long that will last? I’ve spoken to co-workers that have been there 11, 8 and 6 years and they tell me you just have to roll with some things and not make any waves. I think I can do that, now that I’ve LEARNED how to. I used to be much more instigative, but not now. There is too much riding on my employment for me to lose it...not now - I'm in it to win it this time.

I’ll update this as it warrants…. cross your fingers for me. Thanks.