Reasons I Hate Clothes Shopping

1. "WOMEN'S" section is code for FAT CHICKS' section.

2. There is RARELY anything of taste and style in the WOMEN'S section.

3. There ARE tasteful and flattering clothes on select Web stores. But I am NOT paying $85 for a pair of embellished jeans or black flats.

4. There ARE a lot of TACKY hooker-lookin' clothes in the WOMEN'S section.

5. Anything I see that I even half way like is SLEEVELESS. WHY in the WORLD would you make plus sized clothing sleeveless? If a woman needs plus sized clothes, chances are she has a "wing span" from the elbow to the shoulder - a nice FLAP of loose skin on the underside of the upper arm that reminds you of a turkey waddle. For God's sake - KEEP THE FLABBY SKIN COVERED!

6. T-shirts that say "Juicy" and "Tease" and "Divalicious". Thank you, no.

7. Dressing room mirrors are just old fun house mirrors they put up in unflattering fluorescent lighting that makes you look all pasty and white - while having thighs that could span the Grand Canyon.

8. And have I mentioned the prices? For cryin' out loud - I want to buy a few pieces of new clothing and NOT have to take out a 2nd mortgage on my house!!!!!!

9. Stupid people are in the stores where the clothes are. Enough said.

10. I just leave the store feeling fatter and more out of shape than I did when I went in.

*sigh*