Ya Load 16 Tons, Whaddaya Get??

.....a husband that's never going to be home.

Ralph got the job @ the copper mine in Bagdad, AZ. Owned and operated by Phelps-Dodge. He is happy. And I am glad he's happy. I don't know how this is going to work for us? We are still in the midst of "trying". He's super-psyched about going to work there and getting away from the Marriott. I just feel like I should be happier than I am. I mean he IS my Best Friend....I think that maybe I am still a little resentful over his lack of enthusiasm for MY new job. Nope, I don't think it. I know it. That's what it is.

Honestly, I am an emotional TRAIN-WRECK right now. I have just been on the edge all day. It seems everyone I talk to, I've had to get in some deep emotional discussion with them. That's just NOT how I roll.....I usually can't handle that much drama. I am having trouble handling it NOW. And I normally don't WANT that...God. It's this stupid medication thing. RIGHT NOW at this exact point in time, I am having trouble SEEING how this change is going to be beneficial for me? I feel like I have PPD (post-partum depression) again. (See? I told you it was The Children Of Evil that got me into this mess!) I don't like feeling this way. I feel like I don't have any control. It's not a good thing. I am hoping that my body can make this adjustment soon. I go back to the Dr. on 8/26...have to get blood work ups done at that time. If nothing changes BEFORE then...I am going to get into the car (with the new tires..) and drive away and never come back. Bet me.

Yep..new tires. Forked out $220.00 today for new tires. Ralph had a blow out coming back from Bagdad, so we kinda had no choice. Damn. Just when I thought I was going to have some extra money to pay on getting the truck out of hock, this happened. I really wanted to get going on the truck..maybe a little Xmas shopping. Still have to figure out WHAT we are doing as far as Xmas this year. I don't really wanna have to tell Ralph's Mom that we're not coming...but it's still too early to tell, too. Xmas is going to be a stressful time this year. That's our deadline to see if our "trying" has paid off.....*sigh*. I still would have liked to have had some extra money...dammit.

I swear if I have a nervous brake down some time in the next 16-18 weeks, you all will know WHY. And I am not really kidding all that much.

Gotta go....sorry this was kind of dark, but that's just how I am feeling right now. Forgive me.