I've Said It Before...

...and I'll say it again:

If you are a man and part of my life, chances are pretty good right now that you're PISSIN' ME OFF.

But thanks to my med change (please see entries from 2 weeks ago...), it's not bothering me as much as it could. I know you all have your reasons for doing what you do...in MY opinion, it's the "WHY" chromosome, but I suppose I'll survive....ya bunch of butt knobs. Just don't wonder what's wrong with me when I bite your head off......consider yourself WARNED.

Not much new going on here. Just enjoying the 2nd half of 2 days off today...not working too hard around the house. Took myself to the salon yesterday and got a waxin' (use your imagination..I won't go into details, if you catch my drift!!) and then went back today and got a pedicure....CUTE TOES! I really should do things to treat myself more often..I just feel so guilty PAYING someone to do something I can do for free (with the exception to the wax!!)...I guess Dr. Gelber was right (4 years ago..) when he told me that I need to face the guilty feelings and get rid of them. Oh well...I'm a work in progress, what can I say??

Been talking to "J", my Aussie friend :) I really miss him...I wonder if he's ever going to make it back over this way? I wonder if I'll ever make it over there? That's my dream vacation, by the way....AUSTRALIA. Hopefully I still have some time in my life to try to get my sh*t together and take my dream vacation. That would RAWK.

Speaking of RAWKS....I haven't talked to DM much. Givin' him his space. I can't fathom how he feels right now. All I know is someday I'm gonna take a walk in those shoes...and hopefully I'll have some good friends to lean on when I do. I have this inborn fear of dealing with tragedy alone...I don't WANT to, is what I'm getting at. Ask NFW...in 2000 when Ralph and I were split, I think I burned up the phone lines to her daily. And I honestly don't think I could have made it through without her. That's WHY she's ben my Best Friend for 16 years. I don't have many true friends, but the ones I have are GOLD...and I wouldn't trade them for all of the chocolate in the world. (Not a big tea fan, therefore, not all the tea in China--HAHA) But..JUST IN CASE he doesn't already know...I'm here for him. I just don't understand how my heart can hurt so much for this? It literally moves me to tears if I think about it long enough. *sigh* :(

Went and saw Sandy today. (My nurse practitioner) She says that the Strattera is the reason I am burning up all the time. It's upped my metabolic rate and heart rate and just speeded things up all the way around. The only thing I am loving about it is that it has KILLED my appetite just like NFW said it would! Yay! I've lost 3 more lbs and 1 more inch (waist and hips)....moving right along, we're up to 10 lbs now. Sometimes I think if I could sell my soul to the devil to be 100 lbs thinner than I am right now, I would do it. In a heartbeat. I'm probably already going to hell anyhow, so what's the big deal?!?!?!? (I'm kidding, Stormy!!) On the down side, my blood results came back and my alkaloid phosphate (I THINK that's what it is??) levels are HIGH...now, she didn't want to alarm me, but she mentioned that high AP levels COULD POSSIBLY indicate metastasism in cancer patients. THANK YOU SANDY >:-\ That's ALL I need is something ELSE to worry about....and seeing as I have NOT been officially declared into remission YET...I am a little anxious with this new information knocking around in my brain. I'll keep you all posted.

well, that's all for now folks..peace out!