Bah Humbug!

I've been noticing a pattern. Every year about this time, I go into a funk. I wish this weren't so, but this is about the 5th year now that this has happened. I don't want to feel "Bah Humbug," but I do. I love Christmas...I just don't love what it's become in our world today.

I can't quite put all of the puzzles peices together, either. I know it's got something to do with my birthday and how I am sometimes dissappointed when my friends don't remember. Oh - and the "getting older" thing...another year, another wrinkle. *sigh* Thank God for superb skin creams from Avon!

It also has to do with all of the holiday hustle & bustle. It's hard to teach my children "the reason for the season" when they are innundated with commercials, sale papers, store displays...I am trying to keep it in their little minds somewhere that as Christians, that this is the special time of year that we celebrate the things that Jesus bestowed upon us: cherish family & friends, and practice kindness & peace towards mankind.

Sometimes I just wonder to myself: "Where's the LOVE, Man?" :(

I miss some of my deceased family members that always made my holidays magical as a child. I really treasure those times and I want my children to have their own memories to cherish and to comfort them when we are all gone. I hope that they are truly understanding the true meaning of Christmas. I hate having to wonder if I am screwing up this whole parenting gig.

On a somewhat related note - it also irks me how "anti-holiday" the people I work with are. I tried to organize a Secret Santa thing at work and the vote was won by the "NO's". :( I mean I like most of the people I work with and this whole "showing the love" thing falls in with showing your fellow human how much you appreciate them. I am making little treat bags for everyone @ work whether they like it or not. And I am not expecting anything in return. I just want to do it because I can and I know there's people out there who feel no one cares, but I just want to let them know that I appreciate them and the jobs they do in the big picture of running our hotel and serving the guests.

I hope that just MAYBE this year after it's all said and done - I won't have that post-holiday empty feeling, Charlie Brown.