Where IS My Soap Box????

OK..I know I don't usually post twice in the same day, but this has seriously gone too far.

I was just talking to a "FRIEND" of mine on the phone who shall remain anonymous...and she said to me,"You're always so down about everything...can't you be HAPPY for once?"

EXCUSE ME? Do you think I LIKE being this way?? Do you think that being depressed is a CHOICE!? Don't you think that if I could just jump up and BE HAPPY, I would!???? Do you think I get some kind of sick JOLLY sitting around crying all day!? Do you think it's fun to try to find other things to think about besides trying to off yourself in a way that won't leave much mess for anyone else to have to clean up!??? Think it's fun to feel alone? To feel like no one cares, even though you know there's at least a hand full of people who do!?? Why does everyone think that depression and mental illness is a joke!? That it's like a fucking light switch that can be turned off and on!?

I pretty much hung up on her. I hate people like that. I am usually pretty open minded to other people's opinions, but when it comes to this menacing illness..that's where I blow up. I can't help myself--STOOPID--that's why I go to a Dr. for help. That's why the top of my fridge looks like a fucking pharmacy.

*SIGH* My key board is fouling up again...later...