Here We Go Again.....

You know..I am typically an accommodating and understanding person. But, sometimes I just wish God would take my life. :(

I woke up with pressure in my chest Tues morning and then it turned into pains. I suffered for 2 hours then Ralph took me to the ER. We almost got into 3 accidents on the way to the hospital--THREE TIMES, he got cut off or someone pulled out in front of him. I was trying to save on the ambulance trip, but that was THE LONGEST ride I've taken in a LONG time.

Finally got there and had to wait another hour for pain meds. I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe and I get VERY panicked when my breathing is compromised. I think everyone realized how serious I was when I didn't even flinch when they put the IV in me, since I am THE BIGGEST NEEDLE-CHICKEN EVER!. Then they took 3 vials of blood. My whole chest cavity was killing me. Front, back, sides. They gave me Toridal (sp?) and that didn't help one bit. I might as well have drank a glass of water. After another half an hour of laying there crying (I must have cried for 4 straight hours it hurt so bad...I just wanted to DIE), they finally gave me Morphine. That calmed me down, but I could still feel the pain...I just didn't seem to care AS MUCH.

And, as I had suspected the whole time, they came back and told me everything was negative. The only thing they could figure out was it was pleurisy or skeletal-muscular strain. That upset me even more. I am so tired of being sick and tired. I am so pissed off that NOT ONE MEDICAL PERSON can tell me WHY all this is going on!? They sent me home with Flexeril and Vicodin. Just what I needed; MORE pills. So I am pretty upset today, STILL IN EXCRUCIATING pain and need to go see MY Dr. again and do follow up. No one still knows what's going on with my hip..everyone says "sciatica" but I had that when I was preggo both times and it never felt like this. All I know is that until I get 800 mg of Ibuprofen in me, I can barely move. And that pisses me off. I feel like I am being "held down" and I am not able to do everything that I need or want to do! I am such a typical Sagittarian in that respect - I LOVE my freedom!

I just feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. And getting no where. All of this is just so frustrating to me. To feel like I am taking steps back instead of marching forward.

So I am off work until I feel like I can go back. Hopefully that will be Friday. Between the anti-inflamitories, the ice packs, the hot water bottle, the muscle relaxers and the narcotics, HOPEFULLY I can get some relief. If not..someone's gonna get punched in their friggin' eye, so help me God!

Take care and be well (unlike me!)