Miss Jodi's Hotel Hell

All I can say is “Oy.” I had THE NIGHT FROM HELL at work last night. It had to be the full moon, because normal Friday nights don’t cause me sleeplessness like last night did! I seriously need a raise if I am expected to work the position and the hours (& put up with the CRAP!) they want me to! ARG!

OK…I’ve been thinking about doing a post like this for a long time…and after last night, there’s NO MORE procrastination. It MUST be done…so here goes…..

“Miss Jodi’s Guide To Being A WELCOMED Hotel Guest.”

THE FRONT DESK CLERK IS YOUR FRIEND. Please be kind to these people. They are the initial point of contact for the hotel. They deal with A LOT of, pardon my French, SHIT. We also have MANY duties and tasks to complete in 8 hours. I can speak for all of my co-workers when I say we LIKE our jobs. We LIKE what we do, or else we wouldn’t be doing it. I like that I am able to help people enjoy coming to this area and exploring all there is to see and do, so that they can enjoy it as much as I did when I used to be a tourist 10 years ago. However, the front desk clerk is only human. And YOU are not the ONLY guest in the hotel. My property has 105 rooms…at 2 people per room on a sold out night, that’s a LOT of guests under one person’s watch. Please be understanding when the desk clerk says they will get to you and your problem as soon as possible. If you asked for towels or extra shampoo, be patient. The clerk might be working the desk alone, with phones ringing & people checking in & can’t break away to tend to YOU that very moment. The desk clerk has feelings, thoughts, usually a million things to do & MUCH on their minds. And if you need more than one thing, group your requests together. Don’t call & ask for 4 towels and then call back for 2 more 15 minutes after I bring you the first 4. Get it all together. It’ll make things easier for everyone. We’re not opposed to giving you service; we just want to do it in the most quickest streamlined method there is so that everyone’s content and we can move onto to the next guest that needs something.

STOP BEING UNREASONABLE. The desk clerk is a very resourceful person. However, the desk clerk can NOT aide you with situations such as inadequate parking (“Let me just drop everything, grab the paint & roller and go CREATE a space JUST FOR YOU.”), lack of stores in the neighborhood where the hotel was built, The view form your hotel window – after you said facing the wall “doesn’t matter” (“Well, just let me go tear down that 18 ft brick wall behind the hotel FOR YOU!”) or the fact that there’s cars driving up and down the street at 2a.m., so please…STOP WHINING ABOUT IT. The desk clerk can assist you with many facets of your stay and can be helpful in many ways (I had to clean up and overflowed toilet in a guest's room last night and it took me 20 minutes, but I was showered with praise at the attentiveness I gave that guest even after he'd doubted that I could help him "because I'm a girl".), but there is a difference in going above and beyond what the job asks for and moving mountains. I ain’t movin’ no mountains any time soon. Oh – and if you WANT concierge service or room service, stay at a property that offers those amenities. Don’t call the desk clerk @ 10p, drunk, demanding that s/he order you a pizza or Chinese take-out. It’s not their job. You have a phone book in your room and I am sure you’re intelligent enough to know how to use a push button phone. You’re staying at a hotel…not an all-inclusive resort, nor a hospital, nor your Aunt Gertrude’s house. Desk clerks not there to hold your hand and wipe your ass.

IF YOU HAD A BAD DAY, DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON THE DESK CLERK. This also goes for ALL hotel employees – because we’re all in on it together…desk clerks are in tight with the housekeepers who are down with the maintenance guys & so forth. Unless the employee in front of you is responsible for the reason you are angry, please do not yell, degrade, belittle, insult or otherwise make yourself memorable in a bad way to the employee (and we all DO talk to eachother, so we warn each other about “NICE” guests). And even then- if the employee DID cause your “mood” -chances are, he or she is following protocol set forth by management of the hotel. We’re just the pawns on the front line. And the employee usually has one hand tied behind his/her back that does not allow him/her to over ride authority. When s/he tells you that you must speak with a member of management to resolve your problem, they mean it. Nothing more s/he can do. So leave it alone. Let 12 hours pass…get some sleep and during the daylight hours (that’s when the bosses come out), ask to speak with someone who can assist you with your request. Most guest requests are NOT unreasonable, but that clerk last night did not have the authority or clearance to comp your room for you or lower the rate to $20.

ROOM RATES ARE PRESET 99% OF THE TIME AND THE DESK CLERK USUALLY CANNOT OVER RIDE THAT RATE PRESET IN THE COMPUTER SYSTEM. I am sometimes embarrassed that our property management company sets rates at what they are. I PERSONALLY think they are a little high and unreasonable. But, in my experience, management usually doesn’t care what the desk clerk thinks. So please don’t get pissy the clerk because you don’t like the rate. WE DIDN'T SET THE RATE - THE CORPORATE OFFICE DID. You’re always free to stay someplace else (The No-Tell Motel?), because I KNOW you’ll get what you pay for: crappy accomodations. That's WHY they are so cheap, you dumb ass.

NOTHING IS GUARANTEED IN THE HOTEL INDUSTRY. If you ask for a certain room or area of the hotel when you make your reservation and you are very nice to the reservationist, they will usually accommodate you. HOWEVER…if you reserve room 200 for the 10th and the guest that checked in on the 8th got that room and wants to extend their 2 days stay into a 3 day stay, DON’T TAKE IT OUT ON THE DESK CLERK. We very well have no right to uproot a previous guest because YOU want to be in that room. And if you DO NOT place special requests at the time of your reservation (most hotel brands encourage this so the guest experience is a positive one), don’t expect miracles when you check in. By then it’s TOO LATE. In my job, I don’t guarantee ANYTHING to ANYONE. Some of my co-workers tend to have a bad habit of promising people the moon, and then when they get off work before 3p when check ins start, * I * am the one that ends up looking like an ass because I can’t deliver. So if there’s a mix up or a misunderstanding – don’t blow your top about it. SHIT HAPPENS. Get over it. As long as you have a room reserved at said hotel, be happy. And if you want to ask for a compensation because YOU THINK you were inconvenienced, please do it POLITELY. You’ll be more apt to get what you’re asking for. If your karma is bad at the time, though, I can guarantee you that it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass.


That’s about it. Just remember that you’ll get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I have to deal with some guests that, there is NO satisfying them no matter what. Please take my word for it that your desk clerk on duty is doing THE BEST JOB s/he can or know how to FOR YOU, the guest. And if you know you are one of those insatiable people, PLEASE STAY HOME, by ALL means. If all you’re going to be is a thorn in the side of the staff, just don’t even come visit us. It’s a hotel, not Romper Room. (This just reinforces my theory that “Intelligence Challenged” people should have bright orange ear tag like cattle so that whomever is dealing with that person knows what s/he is up against.)

Otherwise, come stay awhile, enjoy our town and please don’t ANNOY the desk clerk--OH! And remember to tip your housekeeper...those "unseen" workers are the BACKBONE of the hotel industry. $1 per person per day. Thank you.